[This was about them, and Cassian's feelings were just as valid as Jyn's.
For a long, quiet moment, she simply held him a little tighter, as clear a physical reminder that she could give that she was there, and that there was nowhere else she wanted to be.
With Cassian.]
I have been with you - every moment that I've been allowed, and even some that I've had to fight for.
If I didn't care, Cassian, if I ... didn't feel the same, I wouldn't be here right now.
I know. I knew you were there before I woke up. It helped so much.
…I know that, too. I trust you.
It's me I don't always trust. Wanting…
[…anything, really. So used to equating wanting with being compromised. Not just concerning judgement, but perception.]
I'm so glad… you're here with me. I don't just mean in this room… I mean… I think—wanting similar things. The same way.
[…a conversation they should probably have in full, in case… but right now had already leaped so many more hurdles, gotten so far, than he would have dared to hope, and he'd be perfectly comfortable leaving it there for now and just relaxing.]
They told me that maybe it would help if I talked to you, so I did. I told you the same stories Papa used to tell me at bedtime when I was a little girl. I - I didn't know if it helped, if you even heard me, but I wanted to help in whatever way I could.
[The arm curled around his middle squeezed gently, an offering of understanding and reassurance. They had already shared so much with each other that although Jyn wanted to continue the conversation, she almost wondered if it would be best to save it for another time, at least after they'd gotten a rest and recovered from their shared emotional exhaustion.]
I'm with you, Cassian - [She murmured, curling up all the closer still] all the way.
[However you want me. As long as possible. I am here.]
I had at least one dream that I couldn't tell where it came from—nothing in my life that I could remember… something about an Octave Stairway?
[Yeah… words, voice, were starting to be too difficult… but connection wasn't. He felt the understanding flowing between them like others (Chirrut) had described the Force… not a substitute for explicit communication, if they were to venture into unknown territory; but what they'd established here, right now, in the last half hour, was so much, so deep, so unprecedented and precious, more than enough to sink into and just enjoy as an end in itself, for a while. His arms tightened around her in response, signaling he felt he gesture and welcomed it; and the fingers the hand still cradling her head traced meaningless glyphs in her hair.
He murmured softly back, unfiltered and unguarded,]
And I'm yours. However much you want. All the way.
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no subject
It started again, far too hard, louder than breath
Which was quite a feat considering his breathing was… If he'd been able to cry, it might have been his turn, then.
He was mostly glad he wasn't, because how dare he make this about him, possibly overload the moment for her…
At the same time… how to articulate the worlds that meant… that she'd say it, that she'd say it first…]
I didn't want to presume anything. Not from a moment that was supposed to be an ending, not a beginning.
But this is all I've wanted to do since Scarif. Be with you.
no subject
For a long, quiet moment, she simply held him a little tighter, as clear a physical reminder that she could give that she was there, and that there was nowhere else she wanted to be.
With Cassian.]
I have been with you - every moment that I've been allowed, and even some that I've had to fight for.
If I didn't care, Cassian, if I ... didn't feel the same, I wouldn't be here right now.
no subject
…I know that, too. I trust you.
It's me I don't always trust. Wanting…
[…anything, really. So used to equating wanting with being compromised. Not just concerning judgement, but perception.]
I'm so glad… you're here with me. I don't just mean in this room… I mean… I think—wanting similar things. The same way.
[…a conversation they should probably have in full, in case… but right now had already leaped so many more hurdles, gotten so far, than he would have dared to hope, and he'd be perfectly comfortable leaving it there for now and just relaxing.]
no subject
[The arm curled around his middle squeezed gently, an offering of understanding and reassurance. They had already shared so much with each other that although Jyn wanted to continue the conversation, she almost wondered if it would be best to save it for another time, at least after they'd gotten a rest and recovered from their shared emotional exhaustion.]
I'm with you, Cassian - [She murmured, curling up all the closer still] all the way.
[However you want me. As long as possible. I am here.]
no subject
[Yeah… words, voice, were starting to be too difficult… but connection wasn't. He felt the understanding flowing between them like others (Chirrut) had described the Force… not a substitute for explicit communication, if they were to venture into unknown territory; but what they'd established here, right now, in the last half hour, was so much, so deep, so unprecedented and precious, more than enough to sink into and just enjoy as an end in itself, for a while. His arms tightened around her in response, signaling he felt he gesture and welcomed it; and the fingers the hand still cradling her head traced meaningless glyphs in her hair.
He murmured softly back, unfiltered and unguarded,]
And I'm yours. However much you want. All the way.