[Jyn breathed out an exhausted but clearly amused little breath in return. And she was tired, but this time, when her eyes fluttered shut, it was to enjoy the touch of his hand - even if it was mostly just to check her temperature.] My language, what else?
[She had loved her parents immensely, of course, but Jyn had been a very lonely child.]
You would've liked Mr. Iggy, I think. He was a droid - not like Kay. He never went to the beach, though, he always stayed home.
[Entirely reasonable. Cassian's whole career had been predicated on his ability, as a slight child, to slip inside Republic war machines and deliver a handful of grit to the right gears, to cause it to self-destruct. Sand was no joking matter for mechanicals.]
You're doing so well, Jyn. We're nearly there.
I'm… gonna stay with you. Once we get there. If that's okay with you?
[If she'd rather he not see her in whatever state medical would put her in, he'd understand, even if he'd not concur.]
[It brought back bad memories - black sand, white cape, her mother falling.
But she needed to concentrate on staying awake, not dredge up old memories and get lost in things she would never be able to change. She focused on Cassian's voice again, blinking rapidly to stave off heavy eyelids that wanted to close fully.]
Stay with me. [She repeated, a tremble in her voice.] Please.
[As if Jyn was going to push Cassian away. As if she was going to tell him no. He was her friend, her partner ... and maybe almost something more. She didn't know how to put into words how much it meant to her that he wanted to stay.
And even if she did have the words, they would've disappeared in the moment that he pressed that kiss to her cheek - and then didn't move very far away again. She felt so dizzy - and it wasn't all due to the blood loss.]
[Partner. Yes. In every way that even covered more.
He touched his face to hers again: his closed eyes to hers; so when he spoke more quietly still, there was no trouble hearing him, she could read the vibrations.]
[She didn't want this to be the only catalyst toward moving to something more, but if it did remind both of them that their time together wasn't infinite, then maybe she could find some good in it.
Not that any of this felt very good at all.
...
Except for maybe how close Cassian currently was, how he was making it more than obvious even in the state she was in that he was reluctant to leave her said, that he - and she hoped that it wasn't her foggy mind that was making it all up - felt the same as her.
With some effort, Jyn lifted her free hand so that she could brush a fumbling but gentle thumb along one sharp cheekbone.]
I'm with you - [she murmured, her voice as soft, just as secretive] ... Not leaving you just quite yet.
[He tilted his head distinctly into her touch, closing his eyes. His hand of the arm with the IV in it moved just enough to touch her hand. His free one slipped under the back of her neck to gather her hair off her skin and gently massage her there.
Most quietly of all:]
Thank you.
[ooc: wanna zoom ahead? Maybe her waking up in recovery?]
[The next time Jyn's eyes opened could have been hours later or days, she had no chrono to check. Before, she might have tried to make an escape from an unfamiliar situation, but ... this wasn't so unfamiliar.
Medbay.
She had spent plenty of time recovering here in the aftermath of Scarif. Her injuries hadn't been as bad as some, but she still bore the scars from her burns. She had spent more time worrying about Cassian, willing him to come back to her.
And ...
Here he was, by her side, not resting comfortably, but resting nonethless. She felt a soft, glowing warmth in her belly, and slowly reached out not to wake him, not yet, but to gently card her fingers through his hair, anyway, to attempt to soothe Cassian if he was troubled by anything (especially worry about her).]
[He'd pulled up a chair to her bedside and refused to let anyone move him. They only tried in order to get him to eat, but forget that.
Not that Cassian was big on self-care anyway. Case in point: normally Cassian had tremendous difficulty sleeping, deeply or at all. Now, perhaps because it was the only bearable way to pass the time—perhaps to make up for a lifetime of vigilance and deprivation—perhaps because, even when worried for her out of his mind, he felt safer and more calm at her side—he had indeed fallen asleep. His head in the crook of one arm; the hand of the other holding firm on hers.
He was dreaming of her when he felt her gentle hand in his hair. Maybe that was why he didn't wake up the way he usually did—whole body startling up and ready to strike. Instead, he only raised his head. His eyes fell immediately, searching but warm, on her.
Then he started, but only slightly, more upright, and his hand tightened on hers.] Hey… you're awake?
[Jyn worried. She kept it to herself - but she saw firsthand how careless Cassian was when it came to taking care of himself. She ached for him in a way that she kept to herself, certain that she had no real right to feel such a way.
What were they to each other, anyway, other than partners and friends? Even though she had woken up to find him at her bedside, holding her hand as though he was what was keeping her from drifting away - and who was she to say that he wasn't - even though her heart thudded painfully in her chest to still be able to feel his worry.
She hadn't meant to disturb him from his slumber, but perhaps she should have known that he slept like she did, very lightly and almost always aware, embarrassment at being caught stealing a touch he hadn't granted her coloring her cheeks.
Slowly, she began to withdraw from her exploration.] I'm awake.
The last being Cassian had allowed to be either thing for him was K-2SO. For years. Since he was barely more than a kid.
Until Jyn Erso.
Yeah. He sometimes imagined other things with her, too. Sometimes so vividly it hurt not to be real.
But that was negotiable. Anything—everything—else was negotiable. All that mattered was that they had each other's backs, were at each other's sides—
for the rest of their lives?
(What was too much to put on another person? What was too much to want with them?)
Shelve it. She was awake
And if she felt at all embarrassed at having given him the smallest bit of physical tenderness, he was ready to one-up her. His hand left her motionless one, to gently catch the withdrawing one—and suddenly duck his head, close his eyes, and press a kiss to her palm.
Just as quickly, as if it hadn't happened, he lowered her hand and folded it between both of his. His eyes were back on her face.]
[Making a real, true connection was the difficult part. And Jyn had thought that she had found one with Cassian - despite their less-than-stellar beginnings. Putting a voice to her own wants and desires seemed an impossible task, especially because she couldn't be sure of how he felt or what he wanted in return.
Forever doomed to orbit each other and never meet, it seemed. And while it was a very particular form of torture, Jyn thought perhaps she could withstand it, if only to be in his presence as long as possible.
To work together and fight together, to watch over each other and be by each other's sides. I can be a partner, she thought, I can even be a friend.
But, oh, how I want so much more with you.
She wasn't embarrassed at having shown Cassian the affection. The embarrassment stemmed from being caught while doing so. He hadn't asked her for it, and it seemed incredibly presumptuous of her to have taken without being granted the permission.
But Cassian showed no signs of discomfort and instead caught the hand she'd been retracting back to her side - caught it and kissed it as if he had somehow known the turmoil in her mind and wanted to calm it, all without saying a word.
And then, after all of that, he didn't let go. Jyn gently curled her fingers around his, grateful for the steadiness he offered.
Okay, she thought, okay.]
Hurts. [The first question was easy. The second, a little harder to articulate. You? To be safe? To come back to me? She couldn't say any of those things, lest she run the risk of running Cassian off completely.
That was not what they were. They were partners and friends, nothing more.] What's the verdict? Am I gonna make it?
[At last—it felt like it had been a very, very long time—and of course it had—his lips curved in a smile. It crinkled his eyes, warmly, and transformed the planet.]
Of course, [he answered quietly.] Never a doubt.
[Which wasn't entirely a lie. She was always going to make it because she had to. He needed her to.
His free hand went again to her forehead, brushing back her hair, savoring the returning color to her face.]
The others will want to know you're awake. I should tell them.
[Even though he clearly, in his eyes and the touch of his hands, didn't want to leave her for a second.]
Do you want to see anyone else now? Or should I tell them to come back later?
[Jyn felt such warmth in seeing Cassian smile like that - in a way she had never born witness to before, in a way that she wanted to bear witness to all the more often.
Even if she wanted to, there was no holding at bay the way her small smile spread across her lips, the way her expression shifted and changed into something soft and fond, showing her for exactly what she was underneath her hardened exterior - young, a little shy, a lot taken with the man at her side.
…
Kriff, she couldn't hide it. The heavy medication currently coursing through her veins had knocked her off of her usually steady axis, and she felt both weary and woozy in a very disconcerting manner. Not much she could do about in her current position, was there?]
Your faith in that must have done wonders.
[Because she had almost been certain that she was going to close her eyes never to reopen them again. But Cassian had been there - Cassian had staunched her bleeding, Cassian had given her his own blood, Cassian had … kissed her?
No, no, surely she was misremembering, surely it was nothing more than a figment of her imagination simply because she wanted it so badly.]
Yeah. I don't want them to worry about me more than already have.
[And you, too.]
They probably won't believe it until they see it for themselves.
[For as much as Jyn didn't want Cassian to leave either, he had to take care of himself, too, before he ended up in a bed just like hers.]
It took a moment for Jyn to compose herself (and tuck away all the other things she wanted to say) before she was able to continue and address what she felt was the most important matter at hand.]
Let them come see me.
Go take a shower and change your clothes. Get something to eat. Then come back here. We can … talk … or rest. I just -
I feel better when you're near.
[It wasn't that Jyn didn't want Cassian around. As a matter of fact, it was quite the opposite. For as much as she didn't say it out loud, she thought the message was clear - I want you to take care of yourself.
Let me take care of you like you've been taking care of me.]
[There was the barest flicker of protest in his eyes before it turned to warmth. And… being touched.
He understood.
Though of course, obligatory: his mouth quirked in a smile for—]
If I smell bad, you can just tell me.
[But he belied himself immediately by raising her hand, in both of his; closing his eyes, and kissing it, yet again.
He lay her hand down at her side before removing both of his. They lingered a moment on the mattress beside her, before he pushed himself by them to his feet.]
[Jyn was going to be fine. And in the best way she knew how, she wanted to make sure that Cassian would be, too ... whatever fine meant to people like them.
She was glad when it became clear that she didn't need to explain any further, and knowing that made it a little easier to add to the jest - to breathe, actually.]
Pardon me for trying to be a little diplomatic.
[She tried to ignore the rush of breath from her lungs as he lifted their hands and pressed a kiss to hers before setting it down gently and she found her fingers itching to reach out and continue the contact.
[He breathed a laugh, his eyes on her so radiant with…
caring recognition kinship sameness
love?
He nodded and forced himself to turn away. Paused at the exit, wondering if he looked back if he'd be able to leave after all… but this wasn't… this was just a break. He knew where she was, they were among friends and allies, and he'd be back soon.
So he glanced over his shoulder, shooting her one more smile and blinding eyes, and left.]
[It was just a break - and a well-needed one at that. Jyn had been informed that Cassian had rarely left her side since landing. While she was unbelievably grateful for his presence, the comfort and strength he shared while she rested and recovered, she truly believed that he needed a little time to breathe.
So she visited with their friends while he was off taking care of himself, and tried not to blush at some vague yet somehow still pointed comments being directed her way.
After some reassurance that soon enough, she'd be back on her feet and in fighting shape in no time, they trickled away until she was left to her own devices. Not that there was anything she could really do when she was still sore from surgery and sleepy from the medication being fed into her intravenously.
With nobody around to keep her company, Jyn did the only thing she could do given her current circumstances.
[Cassian followed Jyn. She may not have been entirely aware of it, but it was how he functioned now and had for a long time. He didn't always get to—they'd both kept active after Scarif, taking assignments, and their skillsets were good enough on solo missions that they weren't going to waste them with the redundancy of always sending them out together. He often wished it otherwise, but… keep serving. At least she was there—in the Alliance, in the universe, for him to come back to, and to come back to him. And as far as he was concerned, she was his commanding officer when he was there, and his lodestar when he wasn't. She probably wouldn't want to be, which was part of why he never told her. But… it's just how it was. Since before he'd made it his own decision, it had been true. He'd made the decision to keep it true.
So he did as she'd said. Showered, changed, got some food. He'd expected the third to be the hardest, but it wasn't. The moment he took a bite of ration bar, he found himself ravenous and got more. The hardest was the first. You couldn't distract yourself from much while in the thought-amplifying box of a shower.
At least she hadn't told him to get some sleep, because that would have been beyond him—in his own quarters. Away from her.
He returned while she was sleeping. He decided not to wake her. He just, as he'd done before, pulled up a chair, and rested his head in his arms at her side, with his fingers so light just beside her wrist. He should be able to feel it when she woke up, and wake with her.
[Cassian wasn't exactly overt in his actions when it came to following Jyn. They were apart more often than not - if she had her way, it would be the other way around. Unfortunately, there was always work to be done, and with overlapping skillsets, it wasn't always feasible to put them together.
Cassian was there, though, somewhere in the vastness of the universe, and even if he never knew it, his welcome home had left an indelible mark on her heart and soul and he was her north star, shining brightly enough to lead her back home, even though he had probably never meant to offer himself instead of a place to belong.
Home, for her, would always be where he was.
Thanks to the painkillers being pumped through her system, when Jyn slept, she slept heavily and without dreaming, just ... floating in dark, quiet nothingness. Waking took more time than usual, too. So it took some time from the moment she cracked an eye to the time she recognized Cassian's bent-over form occupying the chair he'd pulled close to her bedside. For a moment, all she did was observe, but slowly, she slid her hand closer until the tips of their fingers touching - the closest she dared come to curling her fingers around his in order to hold his hand properly.]
[Yes. He'd meant to offer himself. Shame he still hadn't figured out how… whether… to say as much.
The electricity of just the tips of her fingers rode through him. And he turned his face to her, opening his eyes, and smiling. …And his hand, whether by reflex or decision, moved fully into hers.]
[Maybe one day, they would find the presence of mind to say those sorts of things to each other, to share the feelings that they have both, as of yet, kept completely to themselves. But, hazy as she was, Jyn didn't think that now was the time.
So she curled her smaller fingers around his and held on loosely, content enough just to maintain some sense of contact when thus far during her recovery, Cassian had been very careful to keep close without touching her.
It was easy to return his smile, which only widened as he then asked about his smell. All she really knew was that he looked a bit better - still tired, but not nearly as exhausted as he'd appeared a few scant hours before. And that was a good thing, in her opinion.]
I dunno. You're not close enough for me to tell.
[Maybe it was the pain meds, Maybe she wasn't being as careful as she had always been previously. Maybe it was a little of both, but after a moment of contemplation, before she had a proper chance to think her words through, she asked - ]
Do you want to lay with me for a while? It's got to be better for you than that chair. I wouldn't mind sharing -
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2019-08-20 06:25 am (UTC)[She had loved her parents immensely, of course, but Jyn had been a very lonely child.]
You would've liked Mr. Iggy, I think. He was a droid - not like Kay. He never went to the beach, though, he always stayed home.
no subject
Date: 2019-08-20 06:48 am (UTC)[Entirely reasonable. Cassian's whole career had been predicated on his ability, as a slight child, to slip inside Republic war machines and deliver a handful of grit to the right gears, to cause it to self-destruct. Sand was no joking matter for mechanicals.]
You're doing so well, Jyn. We're nearly there.
I'm… gonna stay with you. Once we get there. If that's okay with you?
[If she'd rather he not see her in whatever state medical would put her in, he'd understand, even if he'd not concur.]
no subject
Date: 2019-08-21 05:46 am (UTC)But she needed to concentrate on staying awake, not dredge up old memories and get lost in things she would never be able to change. She focused on Cassian's voice again, blinking rapidly to stave off heavy eyelids that wanted to close fully.]
Stay with me. [She repeated, a tremble in her voice.] Please.
Please don't leave me alone.
no subject
Date: 2019-08-21 05:51 am (UTC)He kept his face close to hers even as he sat back:]
I won't. I'm not going anywhere. We stick together.
no subject
Date: 2019-08-22 06:10 am (UTC)And even if she did have the words, they would've disappeared in the moment that he pressed that kiss to her cheek - and then didn't move very far away again. She felt so dizzy - and it wasn't all due to the blood loss.]
Thank you.
no subject
Date: 2019-09-01 08:57 am (UTC)He touched his face to hers again: his closed eyes to hers; so when he spoke more quietly still, there was no trouble hearing him, she could read the vibrations.]
Always. All the way.
no subject
Date: 2019-09-05 05:17 pm (UTC)Not that any of this felt very good at all.
...
Except for maybe how close Cassian currently was, how he was making it more than obvious even in the state she was in that he was reluctant to leave her said, that he - and she hoped that it wasn't her foggy mind that was making it all up - felt the same as her.
With some effort, Jyn lifted her free hand so that she could brush a fumbling but gentle thumb along one sharp cheekbone.]
I'm with you - [she murmured, her voice as soft, just as secretive] ... Not leaving you just quite yet.
no subject
Date: 2019-09-10 10:10 pm (UTC)Most quietly of all:]
Thank you.
[ooc: wanna zoom ahead? Maybe her waking up in recovery?]
no subject
Date: 2019-09-19 05:32 am (UTC)Medbay.
She had spent plenty of time recovering here in the aftermath of Scarif. Her injuries hadn't been as bad as some, but she still bore the scars from her burns. She had spent more time worrying about Cassian, willing him to come back
to her.And ...
Here he was, by her side, not resting comfortably, but resting nonethless. She felt a soft, glowing warmth in her belly, and slowly reached out not to wake him, not yet, but to gently card her fingers through his hair, anyway, to attempt to soothe Cassian if he was troubled by anything (especially worry about her).]
no subject
Date: 2019-10-14 06:10 am (UTC)Not that Cassian was big on self-care anyway. Case in point: normally Cassian had tremendous difficulty sleeping, deeply or at all. Now, perhaps because it was the only bearable way to pass the time—perhaps to make up for a lifetime of vigilance and deprivation—perhaps because, even when worried for her out of his mind, he felt safer and more calm at her side—he had indeed fallen asleep. His head in the crook of one arm; the hand of the other holding firm on hers.
He was dreaming of her when he felt her gentle hand in his hair. Maybe that was why he didn't wake up the way he usually did—whole body startling up and ready to strike. Instead, he only raised his head. His eyes fell immediately, searching but warm, on her.
Then he started, but only slightly, more upright, and his hand tightened on hers.] Hey… you're awake?
no subject
Date: 2019-10-23 06:22 am (UTC)What were they to each other, anyway, other than partners and friends? Even though she had woken up to find him at her bedside, holding her hand as though he was what was keeping her from drifting away - and who was she to say that he wasn't - even though her heart thudded painfully in her chest to still be able to feel his worry.
She hadn't meant to disturb him from his slumber, but perhaps she should have known that he slept like she did, very lightly and almost always aware, embarrassment at being caught stealing a touch he hadn't granted her coloring her cheeks.
Slowly, she began to withdraw from her exploration.] I'm awake.
no subject
Date: 2019-11-01 09:54 am (UTC)What was more profound than that?
The last being Cassian had allowed to be either thing for him was K-2SO. For years. Since he was barely more than a kid.
Until Jyn Erso.
Yeah. He sometimes imagined other things with her, too. Sometimes so vividly it hurt not to be real.
But that was negotiable. Anything—everything—else was negotiable. All that mattered was that they had each other's backs, were at each other's sides—
for the rest of their lives?
(What was too much to put on another person? What was too much to want with them?)
Shelve it. She was awake
And if she felt at all embarrassed at having given him the smallest bit of physical tenderness, he was ready to one-up her. His hand left her motionless one, to gently catch the withdrawing one—and suddenly duck his head, close his eyes, and press a kiss to her palm.
Just as quickly, as if it hadn't happened, he lowered her hand and folded it between both of his. His eyes were back on her face.]
How are you? Do you need anything?
no subject
Date: 2019-11-04 08:07 pm (UTC)Forever doomed to orbit each other and never meet, it seemed. And while it was a very particular form of torture, Jyn thought perhaps she could withstand it, if only to be in his presence as long as possible.
To work together and fight together, to watch over each other and be by each other's sides. I can be a partner, she thought, I can even be a friend.
But, oh, how I want so much more with you.
She wasn't embarrassed at having shown Cassian the affection. The embarrassment stemmed from being caught while doing so. He hadn't asked her for it, and it seemed incredibly presumptuous of her to have taken without being granted the permission.
But Cassian showed no signs of discomfort and instead caught the hand she'd been retracting back to her side - caught it and kissed it as if he had somehow known the turmoil in her mind and wanted to calm it, all without saying a word.
And then, after all of that, he didn't let go. Jyn gently curled her fingers around his, grateful for the steadiness he offered.
Okay, she thought, okay.]
Hurts. [The first question was easy. The second, a little harder to articulate. You? To be safe? To come back to me? She couldn't say any of those things, lest she run the risk of running Cassian off completely.
That was not what they were. They were partners and friends, nothing more.] What's the verdict? Am I gonna make it?
[You saved me. You keep saving me.]
no subject
Date: 2019-11-08 07:00 am (UTC)Of course, [he answered quietly.] Never a doubt.
[Which wasn't entirely a lie. She was always going to make it because she had to. He needed her to.
His free hand went again to her forehead, brushing back her hair, savoring the returning color to her face.]
The others will want to know you're awake. I should tell them.
[Even though he clearly, in his eyes and the touch of his hands, didn't want to leave her for a second.]
Do you want to see anyone else now? Or should I tell them to come back later?
[But, of course, he would come back.]
no subject
Date: 2019-11-10 10:38 pm (UTC)Even if she wanted to, there was no holding at bay the way her small smile spread across her lips, the way her expression shifted and changed into something soft and fond, showing her for exactly what she was underneath her hardened exterior - young, a little shy, a lot taken with the man at her side.
…
Kriff, she couldn't hide it. The heavy medication currently coursing through her veins had knocked her off of her usually steady axis, and she felt both weary and woozy in a very disconcerting manner. Not much she could do about in her current position, was there?]
Your faith in that must have done wonders.
[Because she had almost been certain that she was going to close her eyes never to reopen them again. But Cassian had been there - Cassian had staunched her bleeding, Cassian had given her his own blood, Cassian had … kissed her?
No, no, surely she was misremembering, surely it was nothing more than a figment of her imagination simply because she wanted it so badly.]
Yeah. I don't want them to worry about me more than already have.
[And you, too.]
They probably won't believe it until they see it for themselves.
[For as much as Jyn didn't want Cassian to leave either, he had to take care of himself, too, before he ended up in a bed just like hers.]
Will you do something for me?
no subject
Date: 2019-11-22 04:59 am (UTC)[Without hesitation.]
no subject
Date: 2019-11-28 06:48 pm (UTC)It took a moment for Jyn to compose herself (and tuck away all the other things she wanted to say) before she was able to continue and address what she felt was the most important matter at hand.]
Let them come see me.
Go take a shower and change your clothes. Get something to eat. Then come back here. We can … talk … or rest. I just -
I feel better when you're near.
[It wasn't that Jyn didn't want Cassian around. As a matter of fact, it was quite the opposite. For as much as she didn't say it out loud, she thought the message was clear - I want you to take care of yourself.
Let me take care of you like you've been taking care of me.]
no subject
Date: 2019-11-29 03:52 am (UTC)He understood.
Though of course, obligatory: his mouth quirked in a smile for—]
If I smell bad, you can just tell me.
[But he belied himself immediately by raising her hand, in both of his; closing his eyes, and kissing it, yet again.
He lay her hand down at her side before removing both of his. They lingered a moment on the mattress beside her, before he pushed himself by them to his feet.]
Okay. I'll tell them. And I will.
I'll see you after.
no subject
Date: 2019-12-05 02:49 am (UTC)She was glad when it became clear that she didn't need to explain any further, and knowing that made it a little easier to add to the jest - to breathe, actually.]
Pardon me for trying to be a little diplomatic.
[She tried to ignore the rush of breath from her lungs as he lifted their hands and pressed a kiss to hers before setting it down gently and she found her fingers itching to reach out and continue the contact.
Later.]
Okay.
You know where I'll be.
no subject
Date: 2019-12-09 10:49 pm (UTC)caring recognition kinship sameness
love?
He nodded and forced himself to turn away. Paused at the exit, wondering if he looked back if he'd be able to leave after all… but this wasn't… this was just a break. He knew where she was, they were among friends and allies, and he'd be back soon.
So he glanced over his shoulder, shooting her one more smile and blinding eyes, and left.]
[ooc; either of us do a time-jump ahead?]
no subject
Date: 2019-12-12 08:50 pm (UTC)So she visited with their friends while he was off taking care of himself, and tried not to blush at some vague yet somehow still pointed comments being directed her way.
After some reassurance that soon enough, she'd be back on her feet and in fighting shape in no time, they trickled away until she was left to her own devices. Not that there was anything she could really do when she was still sore from surgery and sleepy from the medication being fed into her intravenously.
With nobody around to keep her company, Jyn did the only thing she could do given her current circumstances.
She fell asleep.]
no subject
Date: 2019-12-13 04:57 am (UTC)So he did as she'd said. Showered, changed, got some food. He'd expected the third to be the hardest, but it wasn't. The moment he took a bite of ration bar, he found himself ravenous and got more. The hardest was the first. You couldn't distract yourself from much while in the thought-amplifying box of a shower.
At least she hadn't told him to get some sleep, because that would have been beyond him—in his own quarters. Away from her.
He returned while she was sleeping. He decided not to wake her. He just, as he'd done before, pulled up a chair, and rested his head in his arms at her side, with his fingers so light just beside her wrist. He should be able to feel it when she woke up, and wake with her.
no subject
Date: 2020-01-16 09:41 pm (UTC)Cassian was there, though, somewhere in the vastness of the universe, and even if he never knew it, his welcome home had left an indelible mark on her heart and soul and he was her north star, shining brightly enough to lead her back home, even though he had probably never meant to offer himself instead of a place to belong.
Home, for her, would always be where he was.
Thanks to the painkillers being pumped through her system, when Jyn slept, she slept heavily and without dreaming, just ... floating in dark, quiet nothingness. Waking took more time than usual, too. So it took some time from the moment she cracked an eye to the time she recognized Cassian's bent-over form occupying the chair he'd pulled close to her bedside. For a moment, all she did was observe, but slowly, she slid her hand closer until the tips of their fingers touching - the closest she dared come to curling her fingers around his in order to hold his hand properly.]
no subject
Date: 2020-01-19 04:51 am (UTC)The electricity of just the tips of her fingers rode through him. And he turned his face to her, opening his eyes, and smiling. …And his hand, whether by reflex or decision, moved fully into hers.]
Hi.
Do I smell better?
no subject
Date: 2020-02-01 09:17 am (UTC)So she curled her smaller fingers around his and held on loosely, content enough just to maintain some sense of contact when thus far during her recovery, Cassian had been very careful to keep close without touching her.
It was easy to return his smile, which only widened as he then asked about his smell. All she really knew was that he looked a bit better - still tired, but not nearly as exhausted as he'd appeared a few scant hours before. And that was a good thing, in her opinion.]
I dunno. You're not close enough for me to tell.
[Maybe it was the pain meds, Maybe she wasn't being as careful as she had always been previously. Maybe it was a little of both, but after a moment of contemplation, before she had a proper chance to think her words through, she asked - ]
Do you want to lay with me for a while? It's got to be better for you than that chair. I wouldn't mind sharing -
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