i would rather not test out that theory but for the record i'm not interested in weapons and i'm fairly certain i'm not interested in sharing (not yet but maybe i don't know) i suppose we've got a lot to talk about
[Yes, master spy just used a smiley face—half the Intelligence department just did spit takes somewhere—but there weren't words to do the trick.
He sets aside the datapad and debates whether or not to try to shower first, knowing she was on her way. He's still covered in sweat and grime from the assignment and probably smells like Jelucan's shoe soles. On the other hand, is it cowardly, leaving it to her once again to set the pace?
…Hmmm, no, it feels all right, he hopes. Especially if (despite her reassurance) he doesn't drag it out and is potentially done before she arrives. If he leaves the invitation clear.
He throws his dirty things in the washer, grabs clean ones to change into, brings them with him into the fresher, and turns on the shower—one thing he actually likes about Hoth: no shortage of meltable snow, hence actual water showers (rather than sonic).
And leaves the fresher door 3/4 open. So he can hear her come in, and she can choose how far she wants to 'join him'.]
[Jyn stares at the little smiley face for a long moment, huffs out an amused breath, and sets her datapad down in order to get ready, as well.
She doesn't need a shower, all things considered, but she still wants to make a good impression, even though she knows (or hopes) that it's not exactly necessary with Cassian.
While she doesn't have much of a wardrobe yet, she's been collecting pieces here and there and decides that she can at least make an effort to look nice (ish). Trousers stay on, but she changes from her old, dependable tunic into a fresher, crisper one, and then finally a new jacket, navy and white, gold and red accents.
Probably not the best for staying inconspicuous, but that's not the intention here. She wants Cassian to notice her ... more than he already has, anyway.
She decides that this is the best it's going to get, and heads into the hallways to make her way to Cassian's quarters, the determined expression on her face and her purposeful stride enough to make anyone think twice about distracting her from the task at hand.
And then, she's there, standing outside of his door, hand poised to key in the code, only pausing to take a long, deep breath. He wants her there. He would have said if he didn't. There was no reason to be nervous.
She keys in the code and the door opens. She steps inside and waits for it to close behind her, taking in the sights and sounds. He's still in the shower. Should she take a seat and wait, or ... ?
Would it be too much if she ...
Nothing ventured, nothing gained, and she steps toward the mostly open door.] Cassian - ?, [she asks, her voice tremulous, lilting.] May I keep you company?
[Well, the invitation is clear enough. Jyn squares her shoulders and inhales deeply, slowly blowing the breath back out. It's now or never - and with that thought in mind, the thought that if Cassian didn't feel the same he wouldn't have hesitated to tell her, Jyn pushed the 'fresher door open enough to step inside.]
[Good thing his face was a bit obscured through the distorted glass and water; it had come out so much like a line (though it wasn't) that he was quite possibly blushing.
It felt very natural, though. Just having her nearby, whatever the circumstance. He usually took cares with modesty, but if she didn't mind… (And don't forget the conversation that had led to this.)
Definitely not a line; rare to not know what to say, rarer still to just go with what he was actually thinking or feeling—]
I… um… don't know whether to hurry up and get out, or ask if you want to come in.
[Jyn didn't take it as just a throwaway line. And even though the glass kept them from really seeing each other, she could feel the heat in her cheeks as she blushed, too.
Jyn let her eyes drift, even though the glass wasn't clear enough for her to see - really see - Cassian behind it.
Even as they were getting closer, they both tried to keep an appropriate distance, had tried never to do anything the other might be uncomfortable with, wanted to know that their attention was desired and and accepted.
So this - this was a big step, indeed. Jyn was silent for a moment after the admission, if only because hearing it had taken her breath away. Suddenly halting, unsure, she found enough composure to ask - ]
[It's a sentiment that Jyn never really thought she would say out loud, but taking into account the conversation that had started them on this path ...
Being honest, no matter how deeply she blushes nor how embarrassed she feels, is for the best.
A moment, a breath, and Jyn begins shrugging out of her vest.
Someone's got to take the initiative, otherwise they'll just continue dancing around each other.]
[Cassian was at a loss for verbal confirmation—so he just opened the shower door. Not enough to get water all over the floor, just enough to be crystal clear.
This was an interesting order of things. Usually, sharing a shower or bath was something you did after—other things. Not as precursor. But who cared about "usually"? Usually he wasn't in this situation because he actually wanted to be, he was in it 'cause a mission required it. Usually he was somewhere other than his own home(?). Usually his partner didn't know his real name. Usually didn't matter at all. This was Jyn Erso, choosing to be with him while actually knowing who he was. Let them do things however they feking well liked.
And for all it was an unusual way to be introduced to someone's nakedness, the imminent prospect of sharing this warm water with her—however things trended after that, sexual or comforting or something else—was wonderful.
[It wasn't quite the explicit consent that Jyn was looking for, but the opening of the shower door was enough of an invitation to urge her to remove her clothing with a little more haste. Trousers, tunic, underthings that had seen better days were stripped and hastily folded and set on the counter. Lastly, she took her hair down and shook it into a cloud framing her face and shoulders.
No - as these things went, this wasn't exactly usual. But what about their lives thus far could be called usual? If they both wanted it, then who was to say that it was wrong?
And she knew with the utmost certainty that however they went about this - whether it turned out to be now or another time entirely, she wanted to share it with Cassian.
A breath, fingers curling around the shower door, and Jyn stepped inside to join Cassian underneath the warm spray.]
[He let out a breath slowly, letting its wake turn into a smile.]
Hi.
[His voice and eyes were radiantly welcoming and admiring and glad—and they didn't go anywhere except her face.
Almost hesitantly—even now?—he reached around her to close the door. Which also just happened to put his arm and chest very close to embracing her. Especially once the door was closed yet he stayed right there.]
[He was so beautiful when he smiled - when it reached his eyes and his warmth radiated outward and all Jyn wanted was to get closer. Her gaze did not drop from his face, either, content enough to luxuriate in just this.]
Hi.
[She almost held her breath as he reached around her to shut the shower door, breaching what little personal space afforded to her by the shower. But he did not touch her and he did not move away, and Jyn felt dizzy and breathless with anticipation.]
[They just stood like that for a moment, the water raining and steam rising around them. At last, still hesitantly, Cassian's hand brushed onto Jyn's upper arm; closed on it, and he turned them both, like they were dancing, so she could have a turn directly under the water.]
[Jyn felt shy and exposed, and quite honestly, now that she'd made it to this point, wasn't sure what her next move was going to be. The last thing she wanted was to cross any unspoken boundaries that would make Cassian uncomfortable.
She laughed breathlessly as he maneuvered the both of them carefully until she was underneath the spray and the warm water began flattening the halo of her hair down - right into her eyes.]
[Her gaze was full of the utmost fondness ... and anticipation of what might yet happen. Even if it didn't, though, she would be more than happy just to have taken this step.]
[That sigh was beautiful. It also relieved any second-guessing.
Moving gently forward, Cassian ran his fingertips over her shoulder. Then drew her to him or himself against her. Just as carefully, leaving her the freedom always to move away without struggle, he folded his arms around her and ducked his head against hers, into the water.
The feel of skin-on-skin, all of her against all of him, was breathtaking… but also… felt natural. Less like something to get adjusted to, and more like all the times before now, when it hadn't been true, were the strange ones.]
[Jyn shivered at the gentle, questing touch. But there was no hesitation as he urged her closer, practically enfolding her into his arms. But she didn't feel trapped in the slightest, and she was as careful as Cassian had been as she curled her arms around him in return.
She closed her eyes and relished the feel of their bodies touching, nothing in the way of being skin-to-skin, experiencing that pleasure for the first time. And it didn't feel odd or uncomfortable, rather ... it felt like this was always a place that she had meant to belong.
Perhaps it made sense that two people as similarly battered, bruised, and broken as they were had found a way to fit.]
[He wanted to softly murmur a response, but nothing came out. He had to clear his throat. Still, it came out hoarse:]
Very much.
[One of his hands ran up her back, as if under the running water, and came to rest gently on the back of her head and neck, holding her there as everywhere else. His chest rose against hers, or maybe it just wanted to feel her there even more.
(As he hadn't been for a while, he was suddenly glad of his raven training. It gave him a degree of control over the spontaneous and autonomic; for now, at least, to prevent certain reactions in himself. He didn't want to change anything, seem to ask for anything further. At the same time, they weren't holding back; keeping parts of themselves from touching.)
Feels compelled to keep the verbal contact up, as well. Murmurs:]
I haven't done this in a long, long time. How're you doing?
[He sounded the way that Jyn felt, and that was comforting, too. She closed her eyes and kept as still as possible as Cassian's fingers danced up the length of her spine, and he eventually settled his palm gently against her neck, his fingers cradling her head, keeping her steady, keeping her safe.
It all felt ...
Too much to handle. Too good to be true. So overwhelming ... in all the best ways. Here, now, it was about sharing space and solace, and if it didn't go any further, Jyn would be just as satisfied anyway. How could she not be? She had never been this close to anyone before - emotionally, physically, both.]
It's ... a lot - [She admitted, her voice just as rough, just as overcome] I've never done this before.
You set the pace then, okay? I'm only unhappy if I'm afraid I'm pushing too fast or too far. Everything else is good for me.
[He'd never actually done this in this order, before. But he didn't want to say so in case that made it seem like he expected other, accompanying things, to make an order with.
To keep his subconscious from getting overexcited, overenthralled—as would be so, so easy… the feel of Jyn Erso, naked and willingly vulnerable in his arms, pressed against him… —he'd been determinedly focused on coming up with options for them. Ways to make this active, participatory, reclaim a sense of control for either/both of them, in ways that still kept the comfort, the intervulnerability, the trust… the intimacy… but didn't necessarily give way to anything else. He came up with one now.]
I… um… should finish washing up. Unless we want to do each other…? [He wasn't suggesting she needed further washing, but the idea of such mutual exploration felt, he hoped, the right balance between captivating and funny.]
You're not pushing - [She murmured, lifting her chin just long enough to press a kiss to his jaw. It was easy, since he was practically resting his chin against the top of her head. Sex, she'd had. But this, the intimacy inherent in being this close, holding each other like this ... she was unused to. It wasn't unpleasant.
Besides, she'd been the one to set this whole thing in motion. She'd been forward (to say the least) and suggested that they take this next step. No, Cassian wasn't pushing her into anything that she didn't want.
But she certainly didn't want to make a wrong move, either. To do anything that ruined the sanctity of the moment - and it did feel like something very special to he.
Jyn appreciated the offer that Cassian extended ... although an eyebrow did raise every so gracefully at his choice of words.] Can't stay in here forever, I suppose. No, I wouldn't mind doing each other.
[She couldn't help the tease - he'd made himself vulnerable to it, after all.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(cassian x 2)
Date: 2019-07-22 06:10 am (UTC)i would rather not test out that theory
but for the record
i'm not interested in weapons and i'm fairly certain i'm not interested in sharing
(not yet but maybe i don't know)
i suppose we've got a lot to talk about
don't rush on my account
i'll see you soon
no subject
Date: 2019-07-22 10:24 am (UTC)see you soon
[Yes, master spy just used a smiley face—half the Intelligence department just did spit takes somewhere—but there weren't words to do the trick.
He sets aside the datapad and debates whether or not to try to shower first, knowing she was on her way. He's still covered in sweat and grime from the assignment and probably smells like Jelucan's shoe soles. On the other hand, is it cowardly, leaving it to her once again to set the pace?
…Hmmm, no, it feels all right, he hopes. Especially if (despite her reassurance) he doesn't drag it out and is potentially done before she arrives. If he leaves the invitation clear.
He throws his dirty things in the washer, grabs clean ones to change into, brings them with him into the fresher, and turns on the shower—one thing he actually likes about Hoth: no shortage of meltable snow, hence actual water showers (rather than sonic).
And leaves the fresher door 3/4 open. So he can hear her come in, and she can choose how far she wants to 'join him'.]
no subject
Date: 2019-07-23 07:26 am (UTC)She doesn't need a shower, all things considered, but she still wants to make a good impression, even though she knows (or hopes) that it's not exactly necessary with Cassian.
While she doesn't have much of a wardrobe yet, she's been collecting pieces here and there and decides that she can at least make an effort to look nice (ish). Trousers stay on, but she changes from her old, dependable tunic into a fresher, crisper one, and then finally a new jacket, navy and white, gold and red accents.
Probably not the best for staying inconspicuous, but that's not the intention here. She wants Cassian to notice her ... more than he already has, anyway.
She decides that this is the best it's going to get, and heads into the hallways to make her way to Cassian's quarters, the determined expression on her face and her purposeful stride enough to make anyone think twice about distracting her from the task at hand.
And then, she's there, standing outside of his door, hand poised to key in the code, only pausing to take a long, deep breath. He wants her there. He would have said if he didn't. There was no reason to be nervous.
She keys in the code and the door opens. She steps inside and waits for it to close behind her, taking in the sights and sounds. He's still in the shower. Should she take a seat and wait, or ... ?
Would it be too much if she ...
Nothing ventured, nothing gained, and she steps toward the mostly open door.] Cassian - ?, [she asks, her voice tremulous, lilting.] May I keep you company?
no subject
Date: 2019-07-24 05:46 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-07-25 07:33 am (UTC)Hey. Feeling better?
no subject
Date: 2019-07-25 11:05 am (UTC)[Good thing his face was a bit obscured through the distorted glass and water; it had come out so much like a line (though it wasn't) that he was quite possibly blushing.
It felt very natural, though. Just having her nearby, whatever the circumstance. He usually took cares with modesty, but if she didn't mind… (And don't forget the conversation that had led to this.)
Definitely not a line; rare to not know what to say, rarer still to just go with what he was actually thinking or feeling—]
I… um… don't know whether to hurry up and get out, or ask if you want to come in.
no subject
Date: 2019-07-27 01:23 am (UTC)Jyn let her eyes drift, even though the glass wasn't clear enough for her to see - really see - Cassian behind it.
Even as they were getting closer, they both tried to keep an appropriate distance, had tried never to do anything the other might be uncomfortable with, wanted to know that their attention was desired and and accepted.
So this - this was a big step, indeed. Jyn was silent for a moment after the admission, if only because hearing it had taken her breath away. Suddenly halting, unsure, she found enough composure to ask - ]
Would you like me to come in there with you?
no subject
Date: 2019-07-29 01:59 pm (UTC)[Unhelpful answer is unhelpful, and definitely blushing now]
If it's too fast too soon, forget I said it…
no subject
Date: 2019-07-30 05:35 am (UTC)[It's a sentiment that Jyn never really thought she would say out loud, but taking into account the conversation that had started them on this path ...
Being honest, no matter how deeply she blushes nor how embarrassed she feels, is for the best.
A moment, a breath, and Jyn begins shrugging out of her vest.
Someone's got to take the initiative, otherwise they'll just continue dancing around each other.]
no subject
Date: 2019-07-30 11:24 pm (UTC)This was an interesting order of things. Usually, sharing a shower or bath was something you did after—other things. Not as precursor. But who cared about "usually"? Usually he wasn't in this situation because he actually wanted to be, he was in it 'cause a mission required it. Usually he was somewhere other than his own home(?). Usually his partner didn't know his real name. Usually didn't matter at all. This was Jyn Erso, choosing to be with him while actually knowing who he was. Let them do things however they feking well liked.
And for all it was an unusual way to be introduced to someone's nakedness, the imminent prospect of sharing this warm water with her—however things trended after that, sexual or comforting or something else—was wonderful.
no subject
Date: 2019-08-03 06:30 am (UTC)No - as these things went, this wasn't exactly usual. But what about their lives thus far could be called usual? If they both wanted it, then who was to say that it was wrong?
And she knew with the utmost certainty that however they went about this - whether it turned out to be now or another time entirely, she wanted to share it with Cassian.
A breath, fingers curling around the shower door, and Jyn stepped inside to join Cassian underneath the warm spray.]
no subject
Date: 2019-08-04 02:28 am (UTC)Hi.
[His voice and eyes were radiantly welcoming and admiring and glad—and they didn't go anywhere except her face.
Almost hesitantly—even now?—he reached around her to close the door. Which also just happened to put his arm and chest very close to embracing her. Especially once the door was closed yet he stayed right there.]
no subject
Date: 2019-08-06 05:55 am (UTC)Hi.
[She almost held her breath as he reached around her to shut the shower door, breaching what little personal space afforded to her by the shower. But he did not touch her and he did not move away, and Jyn felt dizzy and breathless with anticipation.]
no subject
Date: 2019-08-06 09:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-08-08 02:16 am (UTC)She laughed breathlessly as he maneuvered the both of them carefully until she was underneath the spray and the warm water began flattening the halo of her hair down - right into her eyes.]
no subject
Date: 2019-08-09 02:21 am (UTC)Don't think I've ever seen your hair down, before.
[Or, y'know, her without clothes before. But let's be delicate.]
no subject
Date: 2019-08-10 07:44 am (UTC)Mm ... no, probably not.
[Then - almost shyly ... ]
What's the verdict?
no subject
Date: 2019-08-11 08:18 pm (UTC)That… I… want… to hold you. Would that… be okay?
no subject
Date: 2019-08-12 02:40 am (UTC)Yes. Please.
no subject
Date: 2019-08-13 05:29 am (UTC)Moving gently forward, Cassian ran his fingertips over her shoulder. Then drew her to him or himself against her. Just as carefully, leaving her the freedom always to move away without struggle, he folded his arms around her and ducked his head against hers, into the water.
The feel of skin-on-skin, all of her against all of him, was breathtaking… but also… felt natural. Less like something to get adjusted to, and more like all the times before now, when it hadn't been true, were the strange ones.]
no subject
Date: 2019-08-18 05:23 pm (UTC)She closed her eyes and relished the feel of their bodies touching, nothing in the way of being skin-to-skin, experiencing that pleasure for the first time. And it didn't feel odd or uncomfortable, rather ... it felt like this was always a place that she had meant to belong.
Perhaps it made sense that two people as similarly battered, bruised, and broken as they were had found a way to fit.]
Is this alright?
no subject
Date: 2019-08-18 11:00 pm (UTC)Very much.
[One of his hands ran up her back, as if under the running water, and came to rest gently on the back of her head and neck, holding her there as everywhere else. His chest rose against hers, or maybe it just wanted to feel her there even more.
(As he hadn't been for a while, he was suddenly glad of his raven training. It gave him a degree of control over the spontaneous and autonomic; for now, at least, to prevent certain reactions in himself. He didn't want to change anything, seem to ask for anything further. At the same time, they weren't holding back; keeping parts of themselves from touching.)
Feels compelled to keep the verbal contact up, as well. Murmurs:]
I haven't done this in a long, long time. How're you doing?
no subject
Date: 2019-08-20 02:35 am (UTC)It all felt ...
Too much to handle. Too good to be true. So overwhelming ... in all the best ways. Here, now, it was about sharing space and solace, and if it didn't go any further, Jyn would be just as satisfied anyway. How could she not be? She had never been this close to anyone before - emotionally, physically, both.]
It's ... a lot - [She admitted, her voice just as rough, just as overcome] I've never done this before.
no subject
Date: 2019-08-20 02:58 am (UTC)[He'd never actually done this in this order, before. But he didn't want to say so in case that made it seem like he expected other, accompanying things, to make an order with.
To keep his subconscious from getting overexcited, overenthralled—as would be so, so easy… the feel of Jyn Erso, naked and willingly vulnerable in his arms, pressed against him… —he'd been determinedly focused on coming up with options for them. Ways to make this active, participatory, reclaim a sense of control for either/both of them, in ways that still kept the comfort, the intervulnerability, the trust… the intimacy… but didn't necessarily give way to anything else. He came up with one now.]
I… um… should finish washing up. Unless we want to do each other…? [He wasn't suggesting she needed further washing, but the idea of such mutual exploration felt, he hoped, the right balance between captivating and funny.]
no subject
Date: 2019-08-20 06:46 am (UTC)Besides, she'd been the one to set this whole thing in motion. She'd been forward (to say the least) and suggested that they take this next step. No, Cassian wasn't pushing her into anything that she didn't want.
But she certainly didn't want to make a wrong move, either. To do anything that ruined the sanctity of the moment - and it did feel like something very special to he.
Jyn appreciated the offer that Cassian extended ... although an eyebrow did raise every so gracefully at his choice of words.] Can't stay in here forever, I suppose. No, I wouldn't mind doing each other.
[She couldn't help the tease - he'd made himself vulnerable to it, after all.]
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